Battle Stations

I've been wrestling with this decision for months, and now that it's been made, I feel a huge sense of relief. You see, kiddo turns 4 next week. For the past 6 months he's been asking for a sword. And/or a gun. I made the mistake of saying "Maybe for your birthday," thinking he would forget about it in 6 days, much less 6 months. However, as his birthday crept closer and he kept asking, I wondered what I had gotten myself into. I mean, we worked through the biting phase, survived the hitting phase and finally made it through the spitting phase. Do I really want to start arming him with weaponry at this point?

I did relent this summer and let him have a water gun. In part because I love a good water fight as much as the next gal, and in part because the boundaries are more easily defined. Also, they didn't have Super Soakers when I was a kid; those things are fun. They can cover some serious distance. The rules are pretty much common sense: only outside, and only when everybody has bathing suits or play clothes on. And Momma gets to put them away when we're done. No, I didn't go so far as to get a gun safe for the Super Soakers; it's just a high shelf. But I don't relish being ambushed by a stream of water running down my back while I'm chopping onions.

I used to think that you could shape your kid's interests, and that they would just play with whatever toys you gave them. Then I saw my 16-month-old son making motor noises and pushing around his shoe because I hadn't thought to buy him any toy cars yet. If he has a mind to, he can turn an empty paper towel roll into a sword. However, it's just as likely to become a telescope or a trumpet at this stage. I realize that his interest in combat toys is not going to go away just because mommy is a pacifist and wants to live in Nirvana-la-la-land. On the flip side, the day I relented to let him hold the sword in the store, what do you think he did with it? That's right. Let me tell you, just because it's a Nerf sword, doesn't mean it feels great when it cracks you in the ribs. So for this year's birthday, he'll be getting a marble maze that he can build into different configurations (Quadrilla is so cool!) And maybe, just maybe, after a few more years of work on boundaries and impulse control, I'll let him have a Nerf sword. Like, when he's 17.