Slug Porn

Those bastards. I only have two radicchio plants, and one is practically in need of life support. Last year, they decimated my dill overnight and reduced my long English cucumbers to short stumps. I caught them in the act one morning, their slimy bodies writhing in ecstasy over my cukes. I showed them the door and told them to get a room.

I put a call out to my friends for suggestions. One thought was to simply pick the slugs off, which works well for the little ones that are no bigger than your fingernail. My real nemeses are the banana slugs that are as big as bananas, and the licorice slugs that are as big as, well, bananas. They rarely stick around for you to nab them; they're more of a dine and dash variety. Other suggestions included Fruit Loops (reluctant to introduce those into the world of my already-Cheerio-addicted son) and salt (which also requires that you catch them in the act). The method I went with last year was beer. Slugs are apparently irresistibly drawn to beer, even though they can drown themselves in it. I will resist making comparisons to other species here.

Last year's slug trap was quickly put together without much planning or forethought. I had most of the basic elements there: a container filled with beer, strategically placed in the garden to entice the slugs to their demise (and away from my herbs). However, I forgot one important element: I neglected to dig a recess in which to rest my little swimming hole of doom. Slugs are inherently lazy, path-of-least-resistance kind of creatures. They ambled right past my above-ground beer pool thinking it was way too much effort to climb in, and headed straight for my cukes.

This year, a little more research turned up a website with some simple, natural solutions. The perfect solution for me, and anyone else living on the coast: seaweed. Abundant, free, and actually beneficial to your garden! The salt in the seaweed acts as a deterrent, and as the seaweed dries it becomes rough terrain that the slugs won't cross. I still may install a beer pool, to see if it works and to class up the joint a bit. It's a win-win situation, for everyone but the slugs.