I Like Men

Gardens, vegetables, blah, blah, blah. Today, I want to talk about men. I like men. Always have, and presumably always will. I've known some really great ones in my lifetime: my dad, brother, husband, teachers, coaches, friends, co-workers, even most of my ex-boyfriends. My son will be a great man one day, if I manage not to screw him up too badly. All in all, I would say that 95% of the males I've encountered are really good guys. I've crossed paths with some of the other 5% (there are probably one or two ex-boyfriends in that group, too), but my momma taught me to "never let one bad apple tarnish the whole bunch."

That's why when I read the title of the article The End of Men, my first thought was "don't go quite yet, please." However, when you get into the meat of the article (and it's a long one, so give yourself some time) it's author, Hanna Rosin, has some really interesting statistics and observations about the tipping of the gender balance in the work force in favour of women. One theory is that in today's marketplace, the interpersonal skills traditionally associated with women are a valuable commodity. It makes perfect sense. The earth's population has exploded; people are everywhere. Of course most of the jobs out there deal with managing people, their wants and/or their needs. If you don't have some semblance of emotional intelligence, you may not thrive in this economy. Ms. Rosin does acknowledge that the statistics are slightly skewed due to the current economic depression, as the construction and manufacturing industries take massive hits in these troubled times. However, the trend seems to indicate that the era of male dominance is coming to a close.

Despite the brilliantly provocative title of her article, I don't think that Ms. Rosin is suggesting that the days are numbered for the males of our species. Nor are we heading for a reversed version of Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale. Perhaps what we're inching towards is the end of uber-masculinity. The end of in-your-face machismo. That barnyard-rooster of a man who struts around with his chest puffed out believing that everyone is entitled to HIS opinion (there's a reason these fowl are called 'cocks'). And really, good riddance; knuckle-dragging was so 50 millenia ago. Today's men are generally more aware, more emotionally available, more involved in raising their children. There's still some ground to cover, but we're getting there. We need to value and encourage ALL forms of strength (physical, intellectual and emotional) in all of our children, regardless of their gender. Rarely do I hear someone assert that "boys don't cry," and I will correct anyone who says so in front of my son. We can't deny our children emotional expression and then expect them to be fluent in it as adults. I'm not suggesting that anyone cry at the drop of a hat, or cry over spilled milk, but not crying when the tears want to come can lead to a build of of stress hormones, which can be detrimental to one's health. To put it in guy-speak, it's like blue balls for the eyes. If you don't get that release, your eyeballs may explode. (Okay, maybe I made that last part up, but the part about the stress hormones has been documented.)

My bottom line? I don't think men are going anywhere. And while there are definite differences between males and females, many more of them are learned rather than innate. So let's encourage our children to be full, well-rounded human beings, and perhaps the pendulum will finally come to rest in a place where we can understand and value eachother without pre-judgment or expectation. In short, world peace.